Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
