Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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