So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
