okay pat passed out under dana's car
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
