I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Randomize
