Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
