Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
