eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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