I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
