i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
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I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize