it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
ttyl tear gas
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
