That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
