That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You can't motorboat a personality
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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