the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
