My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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