as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
