It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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