Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so that wasnt chicken after all
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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