The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
