Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
