I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
