I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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