So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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