but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
