ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
