Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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