um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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