And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
