There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
