There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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