People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
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My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize