I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
