So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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