sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
someone owes me an orgasm
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
