so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
