I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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