Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize