Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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