the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
