Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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