I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
