He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
