im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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