Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Farmville is her only friend.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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