I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
