I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize