It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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