I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.