You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
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sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
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Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.