This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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