I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
