The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
