If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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