Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Less talking, more tequila
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
