Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
