I have demons in me.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
