maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
