I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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