I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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