We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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