wrigley field is MILF paradise
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the condom got lost in my hair
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
