we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
