i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you win again, gameday.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize
