i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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