Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
