So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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