HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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