meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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