a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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